Queer Search for Meaning: Dating, Identity, and Defining Purpose
When we talk about existentialism, it might sound like an abstract philosophy class topic. But at its core, existentialism is about how we create meaning in our everyday lives. The ideas come from thinkers like Jean-Paul Sartre and Viktor Frankl, who argued that humans are responsible for shaping their own purpose, even in the face of uncertainty (Frankl, 2006; Sartre, 1993).
For queer people, this search for meaning is deeply personal. Society often imposes rigid expectations around gender, relationships, and identity. Existentialism challenges us to ask: Do these expectations align with who I really am? For many, living authentically requires questioning traditions and redefining values.
Dating and relationships are powerful places where these questions show up. Expectations about how love “should” look, or who we are “supposed” to be with, can clash with the desire to be authentic. Existentialism reminds us that it is possible to choose meaning for ourselves, instead of passively accepting what society hands us.
Therapy can play an important role in this process. Existential approaches to therapy invite people to reflect on freedom, responsibility, and authenticity in their lives (Yalom, 1980). For queer clients, this reflection can be both liberating and challenging, as it often involves unlearning old narratives and embracing new, self-defined ones.
The queer search for meaning is not about following a single path. It is about exploring identity, relationships, and purpose in ways that feel authentic, even if that means stepping outside of traditional expectations. Existentialism offers a framework for doing exactly that: creating meaning in a world that doesn’t always make it easy.
Podcast Episode with therapist Tyler Mafi linked below
References and Studies Used in this Blog Post:
Frankl, V. E. (2006). Man’s search for meaning. Beacon Press.
Sartre, J.-P. (1993). Being and nothingness (H. E. Barnes, Trans.). Washington Square Press. (Original work published 1943)
Yalom, I. D. (1980). Existential psychotherapy. Basic Books.
