The Psychology of Overthinking and What to Do About It

Overthinking is one of the most common concerns people bring into therapy, yet most of us do not understand what it actually is. We talk about it like a flaw or a personal weakness. We call it anxiety or perfectionism or spiraling. But clinically, overthinking is almost always an attempt at protection. It is the mind trying to stay ahead of discomfort, disappointment, or emotional threat.

This post explores the science behind why people overthink, how childhood experiences shape these patterns, and what you can do to work with your mind instead of fighting it.

What Overthinking Really Is

In psychology, overthinking is usually described through two concepts: worry and rumination. Thomas Borkovec describes worry as repetitive thinking about future threats. Susan Nolen Hoeksema defines rumination as repetitive thinking about past distress or emotional pain. Both involve trying to manage feelings with thought rather than with regulation.

The brain is built to predict danger in order to stay safe. Neuroscience research on the Default Mode Network, particularly work by Marcus Raichle, shows that when the mind is not focused on a task it automatically moves into self focused thinking. This network activates more intensely when someone feels uncertain, which is why overthinking often shows up during transitions, ambiguity, or relational tension.

Overthinking is not random. It is a survival strategy the brain learned somewhere along the way.

The Hidden Function of Overthinking

At its core, overthinking is an attempt to create control. When you replay a conversation, analyze a text message, or predict multiple outcomes, your mind is trying to prevent harm. If you can anticipate everything, then nothing can surprise you or hurt you.

Attachment theory also helps explain this pattern. People with anxious attachment often overthink as a way to maintain closeness and avoid abandonment. They scan for signs of distance, miscommunication, or rejection. People with avoidant attachment may overthink in a different way. Instead of using it to stay close, they use it to keep emotions at a distance and avoid vulnerability.

Trauma histories can deepen these patterns. Studies by Bessel van der Kolk and Judith Herman show that unpredictable or chaotic environments teach the nervous system to stay alert. Overthinking can become a quieter form of hypervigilance. Instead of scanning the environment for threat, you scan your own thoughts.

Overthinking also functions as emotional avoidance. When someone does not know how to regulate fear, shame, sadness, or uncertainty, they often shift those emotions into cognitive loops. Thinking becomes a buffer between the self and the feeling.

How Queer Experiences Shape Overthinking

For many queer people, overthinking begins early. Social vigilance often becomes a daily survival skill. You learn to watch your tone, your body language, your interests, and your expression to gauge safety in different environments. Research on minority stress, particularly by Ilan Meyer, shows that chronic exposure to stigma creates a heightened awareness of threat. This can train the brain to anticipate negative outcomes even in adulthood, long after the danger has passed.

Overthinking can become a default way of navigating relationships, work, and community. It is not a flaw. It is an adaptation.

The Psychological Cost of Overthinking

Even though overthinking begins as protection, it eventually becomes exhausting. There are several costs backed by research and clinical observation.

• Cognitive fatigue. Continuous analysis drains mental resources, which increases anxiety and decreases focus.
• Decision paralysis. Too much thinking reduces confidence in your ability to choose.
• Loss of presence. You spend more time imagining possible futures than experiencing the present.
• Anxiety reinforcement. Every time overthinking temporarily reduces fear, the brain learns to repeat the pattern.
• Erosion of self trust. The more you rely on mental loops, the less you trust your own instincts.

Overthinking feels productive, but it rarely leads to action or clarity. It often keeps you stuck in the same internal place.

What Overthinking Is Trying to Protect You From

There is always an emotional root beneath a cognitive spiral. When people slow down and look closely, they usually identify one of the following fears:

• Shame
• Rejection
• Uncertainty
• Intimacy
• Disappointment
• Failure
• Being wrong
• Feeling out of control
• Conflict

Overthinking is not the real problem. The avoided emotion is. Naming that emotion reduces its power and shifts the mind away from threat.

How to Shift the Pattern

Working with overthinking is not about forcing yourself to stop. It is about understanding the function and building new skills that meet the same needs more effectively.

Identify the Feeling Beneath the Thought

Research on affect labeling by Matthew Lieberman shows that naming emotions lowers activity in the amygdala and reduces the intensity of the feeling. Ask yourself what the thought is trying to protect you from.

Interrupt the Loop

Borrowing from DBT and Behavioral Activation, try to shift your environment, move your body, or redirect your attention to a small task. This breaks the momentum of the spiral.

Reduce Reassurance Seeking

Reassurance gives temporary relief but reinforces long term anxiety. Building internal resilience strengthens your ability to tolerate uncertainty.

Practice Uncertainty Tolerance

Uncertainty tolerance is a major evidence based skill for reducing overthinking. Make small decisions without perfect information. Try choosing an option that feels good enough rather than perfect.

Rebuild Self Trust

Self trust grows from consistency. Keep small promises to yourself. Follow through on tiny choices. Make decisions from internal cues rather than fear.

These steps do not eliminate overthinking overnight. They help retrain the mind to rely on regulation instead of prediction.

Reframing Overthinking

Overthinking is not a character flaw. It is an old safety strategy that stayed with you long after you needed it. You learned to think ahead because thinking ahead once kept you safe. Understanding the origin of the pattern allows you to approach it with more clarity and less shame.

The goal is not to silence your thoughts. The goal is to help your mind understand that constant anticipation is no longer required for you to feel secure.

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References and Studies Used in this Blog Post:

Borkovec, T. D., Alcaine, O. M., & Behar, E. (2004). Avoidance theory of worry and generalized anxiety disorder. In R. G. Heimberg, C. L. Turk, & D. S. Mennin (Eds.), Generalized anxiety disorder: Advances in research and practice (pp. 77–108). Guilford Press.

Herman, J. L. (1992). Trauma and recovery: The aftermath of violence from domestic abuse to political terror. Basic Books.

Lieberman, M. D. (2011). Why symbolic processing underlies social connection. In M. Mikulincer & P. R. Shaver (Eds.), The social psychology of meaning, mortality, and choice (pp. 99–119). American Psychological Association.

Lieberman, M. D., Eisenberger, N. I., Crockett, M. J., Tom, S. M., Pfeifer, J. H., & Way, B. M. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421–428. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01916.x

Meyer, I. H. (2003). Prejudice, social stress, and mental health in lesbian, gay, and bisexual populations: Conceptual issues and research evidence. Psychological Bulletin, 129(5), 674–697. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.129.5.674

Nolen Hoeksema, S. (2000). The role of rumination in depressive disorders and mixed anxiety depressive symptoms. Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 109(3), 504–511. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-843X.109.3.504

Raichle, M. E. (2015). The brain’s default mode network. Annual Review of Neuroscience, 38, 433–447. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-neuro-071013-014030

van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking.

Anderson, C. J. (2003). The psychology of doing nothing: Forms of decision avoidance result from reason and emotion. Psychological Bulletin, 129(1), 139–167. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.129.1.139